Rush of Insanity Read online

  “Ha.” Her smile was a glimpse of brilliance that faded to pain. “Why don’t you stop messing around and finish me off.” She gripped his naked shoulders, clinging tighter with every kick of her hips.

  He smirked, running his lips back and forth over her skin. “Beg me.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “That’ll come later.” Her venom was sexy as hell, her words speaking to his basest desires.

  She gyrated against his fingers, whimpering as she did so. “There is no later.”

  “Don’t kid yourself, princess.” He stroked her clit with his thumb, knowing Tank and the other two guards could hear every word, every breath. “This is merely the beginning.”

  She began to rock harder into him, her exhalations short and sharp.

  “Do you know what I’ve got planned for you?” he murmured in her ear.

  “Does it involve letting me go home?”

  He snickered. “Not at all.”

  “Then I don’t want to hear it.” She mewled, her fingers digging deeper, her hips moving in a frantic pace. “I don’t want to know.”

  “Yeah, you do.” He nipped at her jaw and swirled his fingers inside her until her legs trembled against his. “It involves fucking you. It involves dirty, nasty, sweaty sex that will make you so breathless you can’t even scream my name.”

  Her whimpers mimicked the rhythm of his movements, pulse after pulse after pulse. “Judd?” She gripped his hair, holding him in place at her neck.

  “Mmm?”

  “Shut the hell up and make me come.”

  He stilled his movements out of spite. “Beg me.”

  “No.” She shook her head in a mindless frenzy. “Never.”

  “Then kiss me.”

  Her hips stopped and those delicate whimpers disappeared. He pulled back and watched the heavy convulse of her throat as she swallowed.

  The shake of her head was subtle this time. Defenseless. “No.”

  The barrier between them came up again, hard and fast. He didn’t like it. Not one bit. Maybe she didn’t enjoy these games anymore. Or maybe she lied about being single.

  “Let me kiss you,” he repeated, leaning closer as he began working his fingers again.

  She met his gaze, her chest rising and falling. “Judd…”

  “Just one kiss.” He placed his mouth on her cheek, then the corner of her lips. “Just one.”

  She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the door, wordlessly succumbing.

  This was why he’d been blindsided by her walking away. This intoxicating, undeniable attraction wasn’t meant to be ignored.

  They were meant to be together.

  There was no one else. It was only her. Only him.

  All that stood between them was the time it would take to convince Harper of the truth.

  He slid his mouth over hers, and clamped his eyes shut at the burst of sensation far deeper than arousal. Her lips parted and instinctively their tongues began to dance. She was everywhere. She was everything. And he’d never get enough.

  He pressed his body harder against hers, enjoying the feel of her breasts against his chest. Slowly, he worked his fingers again, stroking the inside of her pussy, pressing firm against her clit.

  Her arms circled his neck and those beautiful hands were still in his hair. She clung to him, made him her savior, and he was more than ready for the role. He added another finger to her heat, stretching her. His reward was instantaneous, with the first shuddering spasms of her core.

  She sucked in a breath, her pussy clamping down on his digits over and over again. He leaned back, watching her, taking in every part of the show. As crazy as she was, he was equally crazy for her. He didn’t need another timid and polite partner. He craved her angst and spite and venom.

  Nobody made sex look this good. She was a temptress with her teeth digging into her bottom lip and the luscious strands of her hair tangled about her shoulders. The pulse of her hips slowed, and she sighed, long and weary.

  She slumped against the door and lazily blinked as she stared straight ahead. There was no bliss in her features. Any glimpse of release vanished under her stony expression.

  “Harper?”

  Her lips began to tremble; her hands, too. “Are we done?”

  He jerked back at her meek tone and struggled to come up with words to soothe the pain in her features. Fuck. Who was this woman, and what had she done with his strong, callous Harper? “Did I do something wrong?”

  She stepped to the side, elbowing him out of the way. He was too stunned to stop her. Maybe he didn’t know her limits after all. Maybe he didn’t know much of anything, because at the moment he felt entirely clueless.

  “I succumbed. That’s what you wanted, right?” She raised her chin and knocked him on his metaphorical ass with a sadness he’d never seen from her. “Now let me go home.”

  Chapter Three

  Harper blinked the betraying moisture from her eyes. To hell with that. To hell with him. It was shock, that’s all. She hadn’t expected to come face-to-face with him tonight, let alone have him delving into her underwear to pull out a mind-blowing orgasm.

  A few deep breaths and she’d be fine.

  “What’s going on, Harper?”

  Tell him. Tell him you can’t do this again. Tell him you’re sick of playing the role of this feisty, psychotic woman. Tell him you can’t live with the pressure of being the partner at his side. Tell him. Tell him before you become addicted to the lust in his eyes all over again and it takes you too long to walk away.

  “I. Want. To. Leave.” She pronounced the words succinctly. She’d been too fearful of rejection when they were last together, and those feelings hadn’t changed with time. She continuously had to bat above her average with Judd. He was a celebrity after all. And his popularity didn’t come close to how daunting it was to be with someone overflowing with his amount of talent. “How hard is that to understand?”

  He took a step back, scrutinizing her, seeing things she didn’t have the strength for him to see.

  “Now, Judd.” She ran a hand along her collarbone, making sure the chain around her neck was covered by her shirt.

  “Fine. You want to get out of here, then let’s go.” He grabbed the crook of her arm with gentle fingers and yanked the door open. “After you.”

  “No.” Of course he had to be shirtless and glistening with sweat when he took her prisoner. He couldn’t be dressed in sweats and a loose shirt that cradled a beer gut. Oh, no, he had to excel at being awesomely gorgeous. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Too bad.” He jerked his chin at Tank, who stood flanked by two security guards. “Get the tour bus ready. You, me, and the little princess are going for a drive.”

  “No!” She yanked her arm from his grip and was automatically surrounded by a wall of muscle. All four men closed in on her as if she was a psych patient trying to escape.

  She glared at them in turn. “Fuck you.” She pointed at Tank, who only last year had been a close friend. “Fuck you.” She stabbed a finger at the guard beside him. “Fuck you.” She pointed at the man who had manhandled her and jolted her hand for extra measure. “And especially—” she turned to Judd, “—fuck you.”

  His nostrils flared and those soulful eyes gleamed with wicked intent. He lunged forward, gripping her upper arms and stealing the breath from her lips with his mouth. He kissed her, hard, with punishing pressure and vicious flicks of his tongue. It was devastating. Mortifying. Destructive.

  It was perfect.

  She shoved at his chest, hating his flawless lips and flawless taste and the flawless way he made her fall for him all over again in the space of minutes.

  “Get movin’, Harper,” Tank muttered behind her. “You know you can’t win this time.”

  She increased her glare, giving Judd a much more potent fuck you through the silence. “So you’re kidnapping me?” Her voice was foreign, slightly panicked. “You’ve gotta be kidding, right?�
� She smiled through the delirium, laughed, then felt the elation flee as Judd’s stance remained adamant.

  “You wanted somewhere private. So let’s go.” He jerked his head toward the end of the hall and on cue his thugs encroached, demanding compliance without a word.

  “I hate you.” She hated his gorgeousness, hated his passion, she even hated the way he made her want love when she knew their relationship was too complicated to withstand it.

  “I know. I see that now.” The corner of his lips curled in a somber smile. “But until I change your mind, you’re staying with me.”

  “Oh, wow.” Her eyes widened. “So this is a lifetime commitment to hold me hostage?”

  He shrugged. “If it needs to be.” He swung a hand and slapped her ass. “Now get moving.”

  She ground her teeth through another curse and started down the hall, Judd to her left, Tank to her right; and the two twits trailing at the rear.

  They remained silent through the empty backstage halls, not a whisper, not a word, until she was in the private underground parking lot, staring up at Judd’s familiar tour bus. It looked like the same one from last year, only the signage along the outside was different.

  “After you, princess.” He placed a hand on the low of her back, cementing her fate.

  She took the first step forward, toward the open bus door and the stairs leading to her doom. She could feel desire welcoming her home, along with the powerlessness that came with it. This was why she dreaded coming tonight. She was weak to temptation, her feet moving of their own accord.

  She climbed the stairs, entering familiar territory. She’d had sex on every inch of this bus. Even the tiny bathroom, the aisle, and the unstable dining table that still stood to her left, surrounded by a booth of seats.

  “Welcome home,” she muttered.

  Tank came up behind her and slid into the driver’s seat. “Make yourself comfortable.”

  “Easier said than done.”

  Judd remained outside, speaking in a hushed tone to the guard who had left his imprint on her wrist. There was no anger or dramatics. From her viewpoint, it appeared to be a casual conversation. The guard was the one who showed the direction of the discussion. His shoulders were slumped, his expression defeated. Then without a movement of his lips, he walked away and Judd swung around, meeting her gaze as he took the first step onto the bus.

  “Did you fire him?”

  He continued climbing. “Did you want me to?”

  Damn him. He knew how her knees caved at the concept of chivalry. “Forget it.”

  “Forgotten.” He flashed his teeth at her in victory.

  “Where are we headed?” Tank asked, revving the engine to life.

  The floor vibrated beneath her, precisely the last thing she needed when she was already being white-washed with estrogen.

  “Head out of town.” Judd’s confident gaze chilled her blood. “Find a deserted street where we’re not going to be interrupted.”

  A sardonic laugh bubbled from her throat. Somewhere dark and desolate so he could tear your defenses limb from limb, she thought.

  “You know, I could have you arrested for this.” Slight exaggeration on her part. She had her cell in her back pocket and a keycard in the front. Escape was only a phone call away. If only she could bring herself to leave him again.

  He shrugged and started for her as the bus began to creep forward. “I’ll risk it.”

  She backtracked, already sensing the increase in his seductive pull now she was in his domain. She’d succumbed once already. That was enough. “What about Tank? He probably has a long list of previous offenses. If I call the cops, he’d be in a whole heap of trouble.”

  A snort drifted from the driver’s seat. “Nice try, sweetheart, but I’ve got a clean record and I’m more than willing to risk whatever necessary to see the two of you back together again.”

  She startled. Stiffened. Froze entirely.

  Judd did, too.

  “Is that what this is about?” She reached out a hand, gripping whatever her fingers brushed first and hoped it looked like the sway of the moving bus was challenging her balance.

  The change of gears was the only response.

  “Tell me.”

  “What if I said yes?” He took a step toward her. Then another.

  “Then I’d say you’re delusional.” She slid backward, moving further and further down the aisle. He didn’t even know her. It didn’t matter how many months they spent together through the last tour, she’d never really let him in. She’d even warned him daily that she wouldn’t stick around. She couldn’t handle the lack of control she had on her senses when she was with him. And she hated that she didn’t fit in with the people surrounding him. They were all pomp and circumstance, and she was all curse words and cheap alcohol. Except Tank. The rough thug was one of her people, but he was the hired help, so he didn’t count. “You’re only interested in fun, and I no longer want the same thing.”

  His jaw ticked and the flare of his nostrils showed a rare glimpse of spite. Through months of fictitious fighting to instigate the best sex of her life, she’d never actually landed one of her blows. All her catty remarks were deliberate air swings. Fraudulent barbs to spike excitement and lust. What she’d just said hadn’t even been an attack. It was the truth. Yet the look in his eyes said she’d hit a nerve.

  “So what do you want, princess?” he growled.

  You. Forever. She wanted to be herself without the fear of rejection. She needed to be his equal even though there was no hope of that happening. And more than anything, she wanted to find a home with him, a metaphorical place where she could finally feel a sense of belonging.

  Everything she craved was impossible.

  A contradiction.

  It was one of the many reasons she’d walked away.

  When they were together, the stakes were high. Everything was intense—the lovemaking, the fights. Especially the persona she had to keep up to maintain his interest. It was either high or low, barely ever in between. What she needed was slow and lazy, maybe even a little taste of boring to even things out.

  “I…” She swallowed, hating how invested he was in her answer when the response she wanted to give would leave her vulnerable. “I need to use the bathroom.”

  He scoffed and shook his head. “Fine. But if you think you’re gonna lock yourself in there, think again. It doesn’t take much to get the door open from the outside.”

  “Did you find that out with your last victim?” She backtracked to the bathroom, her fingers gliding over the latch.

  He flashed his teeth. All predator. No charm. “Maybe.”

  Not surprising.

  She slipped inside the tiny space and closed the door behind her. The tension in her chest loosened at her first deep breath of solitude. She hadn’t always been this pathetic. Judd Hart hadn’t been a blip on her radar until she heard he was looking for a new stylist.

  The first day of her new job sealed her fate. She’d been annoyed at his late arrival to their first appointment and hadn’t bothered to hide her PMS-induced ire. One catty remark turned into a flirtatious verbal sparring match that lasted ten excruciatingly long days and culminated in tangled sheets and sex-ruffled hair. The gentleman of the billboards had been no gentleman to her, and the devilishly dominant side of him had turned addictive.

  The more time she spent with him, the more they bickered, and it was always with seductive smiles and the low of her belly in a mass of tingles. They became inseparable. And so did her psychotic attitude. She went out of her way to be feisty and compulsive just to see the flash of passion in his eyes.

  Her life began to revolve around his excitement.

  That was, until she fell in love.

  Then shit got real.

  Everything inside her fractured. Including her mental stability. Each day brought clarity to their situation. Judd was famous for dating her exact opposite. Prim and proper women with impeccable manners and professiona
l dress sense. He was a gentleman by nature. Not this ferocious, gritty man.

  Their time together had an expiry date and she grew torn between pulling away and clinging tighter.

  She began inserting warnings into their daily conversations. We can’t do this forever. Once the tour is over I’m leaving. You need someone who isn’t so crazy. Not once did he acknowledge her insecurities. He didn’t care then, like he didn’t care when she left.

  So damn pathetic.

  She reached behind her neck, unclasped the necklace hidden under her shirt and placed the ring dangling from the dainty chain into her palm. It was the same ring she’d worn hanging from her neck since the day she walked away.

  It no longer had a place on her hand. It never really did to begin with. She shouldn’t have accepted his gift when their end was already in sight. But she’d been completely messed up. In a tangled wreckage of love and insecurities, that made her think a commitment ring could fix everything.

  Two weeks later she was gone.

  Maybe walking out was just another psychotic bender aimed at inspiring more profound sex, but he didn’t come after her. Apart from a missed call on her cell and a few text messages, he’d let her go, only proving her theory that they’d never been destined to have a future together.

  “Come on, Harper.” Judd banged on the door. “This can go on forever, but I’d prefer if it didn’t.”

  She closed her eyes and squeezed her hand around the gold. There were two choices. When the bus stopped, she could sneak back to the bathroom, check the GPS on her cell and text her brother to come save her. He’d probably start a fight with Tank and get his ass kicked in the process, but he’d get her out of here. Or she could enjoy this slip into the past and use it to say a proper goodbye—the one she hadn’t given him all those months ago.

  “Harper.”

  “I heard you.” Her lips twitched at the adrenaline spike that always accompanied dueling with him.