Rush of Insanity Read online

  Judd’s jaw ticked as he stared her down. “No. Apparently, the person I was looking for isn’t there. Just circle the block.”

  Something unfurled in her chest. Something warm and comforting. “You were going after me?”

  His muscled arms crossed over his chest, shutting her down. “Why did you stop the bus?”

  “I didn’t like the way we left things,” she lied.

  He huffed in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. “And?”

  She loathed the disappointment in his eyes and hated herself for putting it there. “I want to feel comfortable in your world, Judd.” That was the crux of it. She wanted to be everything. Not only his girlfriend. She wanted to be a puzzle piece that adjusted to every part of his life.

  “I wish I could help you with that, but I’m not comfortable myself.”

  She understood that now. He had a persona around outsiders. She was one of the lucky ones who had never been placated. “Your love of music outweighs the discomfort.”

  He inclined his head. “I realize you don’t have the same incentive.”

  “You’re my incentive.”

  “Well, that’s what I’d hoped, but obviously I wasn’t enough.”

  “You don’t think you’re enough?” She balked. “How could you not think you’re enough? You bring a feast to the table, and I only bring myself.”

  “I don’t understand how people think a music contract can change someone overnight. Years later, I still don’t have the confidence or charisma that’s mysteriously supposed to overcome me. I’m the music geek I’ve always been. I’m constantly questioning if I’m good enough—for my fans, for my label. For you. I’m the guy who’s nervous as hell that I can’t keep the woman I love happy. I tried everything I could to stop you from making those threats to leave me. And still I wasn’t good enough.”

  “You were good enough.” She stared at him, seeing a kaleidoscope of facets when before he’d only been in 3D.

  “Yeah? Well, I still feel like you’re out of my league.”

  Her lips parted. How? How could he think that? “But you’re—”

  “I’m petrified.” His arms fell at his sides. “I can’t see myself with anyone else. I can’t imagine another woman ever allowing me to feel this real. If you leave, I’m scared of settling with someone in the industry and becoming the persona I loathe. And I’m fearful that if you stay my pride will get in the way of keeping us together.”

  “Your pride and my fear of rejection.”

  “I’ll never reject you.”

  She believed him. Believed that he was adamant. Honest. At least for now. They had so much to learn about one another and there was always the possibility he may hate the new parts he was exposed to. Damn it. There were too many opportunities for heartache.

  “I have a thousand reasons to walk away.” The list was too long to skim over. “There’s only one pulling me to stay.”

  “What’s the reason?” he murmured.

  A burning path trailed down her cheeks. More weakness and vulnerability there for the world to see. “I love you. I love you so much. I’m just worried that this thing between us doesn’t make sense.”

  “It doesn’t have to. As long as we’re happy together.” His throat convulsed with a heavy swallow. “Do I make you happy?”

  “Of course you do.”

  He nodded and the movement lacked confidence.

  “You do, Judd. But maybe this is all too hard. Maybe I should go.” She frowned at herself. “For real this time.”

  “No.” Judd chuckled and shook his head. “You shouldn’t.”

  He didn’t move, didn’t approach as she took a step back.

  “I attempted to stop a bus with my body. I think I’ve reached a level of crazy that shouldn’t be encouraged.”

  His lips quirked in the devilish way she loved. “I threw half a million dollars across a stadium. I think we’re matched perfectly.”

  She gave him a half-hearted smile. “What if you don’t like the parts of me that you haven’t seen yet?”

  Finally, he stepped forward, closing in on her, bringing them thigh to thigh. “I know you, Harper. I know everything about you.” He placed a hand on her hip. “I see your defenses fall away after we sleep together. I see the love in your eyes when you watch me on stage. I hear the way you talk about me to Tank, and he also tells me how you feel just so I’m not kept in the dark.”

  “You spy on me?”

  He leaned into her, brushing his lips over her ear. “Trust you to consider it spying, princess.”

  A shiver trickled down her spine and nestled in her belly. “I’m scared.” The truth scraped her throat raw. Walking away was easy. Placing herself in the hands of vulnerability was terrifying.

  “I’m done, Harper. I’m lost in those eyes of yours, and I’ll happily never find myself again. Whether you introduce me to a softer side of yourself, or you remain my constant crazy bitch, I’ll always love you.”

  She buried her head against his neck and smiled. “I really hate those words.”

  “What words?”

  “Crazy bitch.” She pulled back and met his gaze.

  He smirked, the long strands of his damp hair framing his face. “But it suits you perfectly.”

  She leaned into his chest and snapped her teeth. “Fuck you.”

  “Fuck me?” Excitement flared in his eyes as he gripped her waist.

  She nodded as he walked backward, dragging her toward his room. She was stepping off the ledge, leaping into a life that only had Judd as her safety net. “Yeah.”

  “Okay,” he murmured against her lips. “Let’s do that.”

  He smashed his mouth against hers and stole a squeal from her throat. She gripped his shoulders, tight, unwilling to let go as his tongue parted her lips. They were going to do this. Be together. Be a couple. Be in love.

  He continued dragging her forward, into his room, and she kicked the door shut with her foot.

  “I still can’t believe I saw you throw away my ring.”

  “Believe it.” The gentle grip of his fingers encircled her wrists and he raised her hands above her head. “It was tainted. I don’t want to see it again.” He pressed her into the door and made her drown in the scent of his familiar aftershave. “But you don’t need a ring. You’re mine, with or without it.”

  She raised a brow and bucked her hips against his. “Oh, I am, am I?”

  He flashed his teeth, and sank his body against hers, rubbing the thick length of his shaft against her pelvis. “You sure are, princess. Even if I have to kidnap you for the rest of your life.”

  The End

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  Also by Eden Summers

  Reckless Beat Series

  Blind Attraction (Reckless Beat #1)

  Passionate Addiction (Reckless Beat #2)

  Reckless Weekend (Reckless Beat #2.5)

  Undesired Lust (Reckless Beat #3)

  Sultry Groove (Reckless Beat #4)

  Reckless Rendezvous (Reckless Beat #4.5)

  Undeniable Temptation (Reckless Beat #5)

  Vault of Sin Series

  A Shot of Sin (Vault of Sin #1)

  Union of Sin (Vault of Sin #2)

  Inarticulate

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  About the Author

  Eden Summers is a bestselling author of contemporary romance with a side of sizzle and sarcasm.

  She lives in Australia with a young family who are well aware she's circling the drain of insanity.

  Eden can't resist alpha dominance, dark features and sarcasm in her fictional heroes and loves a strong heroine who knows when to bite her t
ongue but also serves retribution with a feminine smile on her face.

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  Continue reading for a preview of Eden Summers’ erotic romance bestseller - Blind Attraction (Reckless Beat #1).

  Chapter One

  Alana Shelton sucked in a deep breath and relaxed into her seat. An unfamiliar world drifted by the window as her plane taxied into the Richmond, Virginia airport.

  This was it—life.

  Finally, she was free, alone, and able to grasp independence with both hands, even though those betraying body parts trembled in her lap. Her heart pounded with the erratic beat of excitement, and her palms were sticky with sweat. She’d waited too long for today. Too damn long dreaming of what it would be like to breathe without restriction.

  “You didn’t enjoy the flight?”

  She peered over her shoulder and smiled at the elderly man seated beside her. “You know what, I actually think I did.”

  Soaring above the clouds was invigorating. Everyone around her seemed to take the view for granted. They weren’t in awe of tiny houses below or the unending curve of barely visible roads.

  The man grinned at her, and the sight was so unfamiliar her chest tippy-tapped with the slightest case of arrhythmia. She shouldn’t be talking to him, shouldn’t be conversing like they were friends, but she’d become warmed by his conversation. He’d sprinkled light chatter into her first flight and helped her relax into unfamiliar surroundings. Which was profound, seeing as she’d been forbidden to speak to members of the opposite sex since she was born.

  If her mother were here, chastisements would be flying from her lips. Don’t speak to him. Don’t ever trust a man. Actually, if her mother were here, the flight attendants would’ve had to prepare sedatives long ago. The woman who raised Alana in the quiet seclusion of a Monument, Colorado retreat didn’t deal well with men. Alana was sure the local police station had a notice on their billboard that stated as much.

  If you have a dick, avoid this woman.

  It wasn’t easy being the daughter of a man-hater. It wasn’t fun being deprived of any sort of masculine guidance either. But there was no other choice. Not until now, when Alana was confident enough to make her own decisions and step into the world by herself.

  “Do you need help with your luggage?” he asked.

  “No, thank you.” The plane pulled to a stop, ending the tiny glimpses of scenery that had flickered past like snapshots. “I have a friend waiting for me.”

  Her best friend, Kate, was the only woman who had the slightest understanding of Alana’s restricted upbringing.

  She unclasped her belt and wrung her hands together, fighting away the jitters. She was determined to spend her mini vacation without the dark taint of her mother’s outlook. The slate was wiped clean. At least as much as her nervousness would allow.

  She’d never wanted to shun men. She was dying to learn the intricacies of the opposite sex for herself. The good and the bad. The scary and the exhilarating. No matter how determined her mother was to verbally bash anyone without a set of ovaries, Alana had always held an open mind. Secretly, anyway.

  It was the thrill of the unknown. The taboo of breaking the rules.

  Minutes ticked by before the cabin door opened and passengers disembarked. It was surreal. Pandora’s Box was opening. Finally, she had the opportunity to let her hair down without someone hovering over her shoulder. She’d hoped for this day since she was a little girl, and now that it was here she wasn’t sure if she should scream, vomit, or rely on alcohol to kill the overwhelming mix of emotions.

  “Thank you…” Her words trailed as the man beside her stood.

  His brows pulled together. “For what?”

  Good question. What was she thanking him for? The conversation? The enlightenment? All he’d done was be kind, and yet the sparse communication they shared had been monumental to her. All it took were a few words. A smile here and there. Then, bam, this man had cemented her opinion that the opposite sex wasn’t to be feared.

  At least not all of them.

  She wasn’t naïve. God knew how many times she’d been called into the living room to watch another news broadcast on violence against women. And her mother’s experiences were the stuff of nightmares. She was merely willing to keep an open mind.

  “For being you.” She swallowed over the gratitude drying her throat and grabbed her bag from under the seat in front of her.

  He chuckled. “I hope you have fun in Richmond, Alana.”

  Then he was gone, walking away from her like he hadn’t just changed her life.

  She slumped back into her chair and began her breathing ritual. Deep in, slow out. Unwelcomed emotions were overwhelming her, and guilt sat at the top of the list. Her mother was still back in Monument, probably popping Valium over the thought of her only child being alone in this big, scary world.

  You can do this.

  She shoved to her feet and followed the line of people banked down the aisle, vowing to enjoy every waking moment, no matter how drained she was from the adrenaline rush. Nothing could wipe the grin from her face as she read the signs through the airport leading her toward the baggage claim.

  People were everywhere. Men hauled suitcases, children ran from parents, women strutted in business suits or sexy clothing that was way out of Alana’s league. There were shops too, with shiny lights and bright smiles from retail assistants. It was like Disneyland. To her, at least.

  “Finally!” A familiar female voice came from behind her. “Three cheers for the escaped inmate.”

  Alana froze. Strangers stared, security stood taller, and the prickle of anxiety over a crowd of people watching her tickled the back of her neck. High and low. High and low. Her emotions were a whirlwind, and she was determined to ride the experience no matter where it led.

  She ignored the heat burning her cheeks and swung around to face Kate. “Trust you to make me feel uncomfortable as soon as my plane landed.”

  Kate laughed and yanked Alana in for a hug that squeezed the air from her lungs.

  “You need to celebrate your liberation.” Kate pulled back to scrutinize Alana’s face. “Prison life was tough for you.”

  Prison life? Alana scoffed. “This vacation is far from liberation. You know I can come and go as I please.”

  “Yet you never have.”

  True. It wasn’t easy to leave a mother who skirted the boundary of mental illness. There would be repercussions to this trip away. The leash around her neck would be notched tighter once she returned. But she would endure it all for the love of the woman who raised her.

  “No men, no parties, no excitement,” Kate continued. “It’s actually more like hell than prison.”

  “It’s better than what a lot of people have.”

  “Keep telling yourself that.”

  Kate beamed at her as they walked to the conveyor belt displaying suitcases from the flight. Kate’s smile was too big, too contagious, as if she truly had witnessed the liberation of a friend who’d been a prisoner of war.

  Alana’s upbringing wasn’t bad. Not completely… OK, it was entirely dictatorial and full of scaremongering, but no biggie. She could handle whatever life threw at her now. Although inexperienced in almost every facet of life, it hadn’t stopped her from becoming strong and open-minded.

  She was able to explore her love of photography and dedicate all her time to shaping it into a promising career. Her mother had always supported and nurtured her. She wanted her daughter to succeed, just as long as it was done without a male in sight.

  “Here, hold this.” She shoved her handbag into Kate’s arms. Her suitcase was circling, about to fly past as sh
e grabbed the handle and yanked it to the ground. She’d packed her entire wardrobe, which wasn’t a whole lot. There were no pretty dresses, no cleavage showing tops or butt hugging jeans. All she owned was similar to the black slacks and loose T-shirt she currently wore.

  “Can we schedule a trip to a shopping mall?” She glanced at her clothes and compared them to the tight skirt and equally tight tank Kate had on. There wasn’t a subtle bone in Kate’s body.

  “I’m all over it. We’ll upgrade you from the Amish look in no time.”

  “Your honesty is cathartic,” she mumbled.

  Kate was the ultimate bad influence. One-hundred percent sexy confidence wrapped in a blonde bombshell package.

  “I call it like I see it, and those clothes definitely won’t do for tonight.”

  “Tonight?”

  Kate grinned. “All in good time, my precious.”

  They made their way toward the exit, past the automatic doors, and out into the foreign Richmond air. Everything was unfamiliar—the people, the scenery, the exhilaration. She was stepping into the unknown, and the sensation was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.

  Every man who walked by was treated to her appraisal. Not only the good-looking ones, but the gruff, unkempt ones too. She tried to read them, tried to determine if she could pick the good from the bad. One man smiled, and the wave of tingles that washed from her belly to her throat made her laugh in response.

  “This is mine.” Kate pointed to a red compact car and pulled keys from her pocket.

  The trunk popped open, the suitcase was slid inside, and moments later Alana was peering through a windshield as they approached a city she had never seen before.

  “Are you ready to party?”